I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day… I thank God every day I am Blessed with another glorious day on this planet, It’s a GREAT DAY to be ALIVE! Positivity! Thankfulness! Gratefulness! Carpe Diem! Life is GOOD!
It wasn’t always that way. For years I somehow stayed positive and upbeat while being involved with an extremely toxic person in an even more toxic relationship. Controlling, manipulative, selfish! As I look back, I cannot fathom how I was so stupid not to see how one person could suck so much life and happiness out of those around them. How could one person thrive so much on making other people miserable, or feel badly about themselves just to make themselves feel better and superior? Then in the next breath say “I love you.” I am a pretty strong man, fairly intelligent, helpful, giving, loving, and caring, so how could I allow one person to gain so much control over my entire life and do everything in their power to make me feel like a low life scumbag? I have great kids, we had a nice house, we drove nice cars, but it was never enough to make a difference. Hearing you were a piece of shit and not a good provider, and Don’t, Don’t, DON’T, can’t, Can’t, CAN’T can wear down even the strongest, most stable person over time.
The good thing is, somehow we all survived and thrived, but how much better could we all have done had we not been involved with that toxic person? Why didn’t I see it sooner? Why didn’t I listen to others? My parents, my brother and sister, and a few friends I had all saw it, but why couldn’t I? How was I so blind to not get my kids out of that toxic environment sooner? WTF was I doing? WTF was I thinking?
Take This Life And Shove IT!!!
Several events happened at the same time one month that woke me up. I finally said enough is enough! I prayed! I packed up and moved out. I prayed. I filed for divorce! I prayed. My Grandmother (my guardian angel) passed away. I prayed. I met Nancy. I prayed. I changed jobs. I prayed. I finally listened to good people and began to remove the toxicity from my life. I prayed. I thanked God and my parents for waking me up. I prayed. I wish I could tell you everything immediately got better, but Nancy and I had both been through so much with our exes, we did not know how to act for quite some. True to form, my ex did everything she could to try to make our lives miserable. The divorce was ugly, and took several years just because that toxic individual did everything she could to try to maintain some kind of control. It cost a lot of money too. Money we did not have. We sure ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and I’m not real fond of tuna salad any longer. We prayed. We fought for custody which my attorney warned me was like throwing money down the well in Florida, but we had to do everything we could to get the girls out of that toxic environment. We lost! We prayed. Child support and alimony started. More tuna, more PB&Js, but with that time came more love, more understanding. Nancy and I both grew as people, as a couple, as parents, and as people of faith. We prayed and gave thanks.
WE MADE IT! It has been almost ten years since Nancy and I left our toxic relationships together. We love, we show compassion, we cried together, we pray, but through everything we survived, we thrived, and for some strange reason, I WOULD NOT CHANGE ANY ONE OF THOSE STRUGGLES! We love life. We made It! We have six beautiful daughters, two absolutely gorgeous grandchildren, and a much better understanding of how to stay the Hell away from toxic assholes! If you know somebody in a toxic relationship…HELP THEM GET OUT! RUN! Or You will have to get rid of them to avoid that toxicity!!
And to those toxic assholes…KEEP YOUR MISERABLE ASS LIFE TO YOURSELF AND AWAY FROM US! WE GOT THIS!!! Ciao!