What Was I Thinking? WTF?

I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day… I thank God every day I am Blessed with another glorious day on this planet, It’s a GREAT DAY to be ALIVE!  Positivity!  Thankfulness!  Gratefulness! Carpe Diem!  Life is GOOD!

Exactly... Cut them lose for your own sake. This is not mean or selfish. This is a choice based on self-respect.:

It wasn’t always that way.  For years I somehow stayed positive and upbeat while being involved with an extremely toxic person in an even more toxic relationship.  Controlling, manipulative, selfish!  As I look back, I cannot fathom how I was so stupid not to see how one person could suck so much life and happiness out of those around them.  How could one person thrive so much on making other people miserable, or feel badly about themselves just to make themselves feel better and superior?  Then in the next breath say “I love you.”  I am a pretty strong man, fairly intelligent, helpful, giving, loving, and caring, so how could I allow one person to gain so much control over my entire life and do everything in their power to make me feel like a low life scumbag?  I have great kids, we had a nice house, we drove nice cars, but it was never enough to make a difference.  Hearing you were a piece of shit and not a good provider, and Don’t, Don’t, DON’T, can’t, Can’t, CAN’T can wear down even the strongest, most stable person over time.

Yup, Just like Jason and Jolene. Toxic people to the core. They lie, cheat, back stab everyone they call thier friend and or family, they both use everyone for money, $2,500 to be exact, that they refuse to pay back at all. Always saying they will but never do, they only ask "friends" over cause they have cars. Its always about what they can get from someone and never about love. So we are letting go and getting rid of these toxic people for good!!! Small claims here we come:

The good thing is, somehow we all survived and thrived, but how much better could we all have done had we not been involved with that toxic person?  Why didn’t I see it sooner?  Why didn’t I listen to others?  My parents, my brother and sister, and a few friends I had all saw it, but why couldn’t I?  How was I so blind to not get my kids out of that toxic environment sooner?  WTF was I doing?  WTF was I thinking?

Take This Life And Shove IT!!!

Several events happened at the same time one month that woke me up.  I finally said enough is enough!   I prayed!  I packed up and moved out.  I prayed.  I filed for divorce!  I prayed.  My Grandmother (my guardian angel) passed away.  I prayed.  I met Nancy.  I prayed.  I changed jobs.  I prayed.  I finally listened to good people and began to remove the toxicity from my life.  I prayed.  I thanked God and my parents for waking me up.  I prayed.  I wish I could tell you everything immediately got better, but Nancy and I had both been through so much with our exes, we did not know how to act for quite some.  True to form, my ex did everything she could to try to make our lives miserable.  The divorce was ugly, and took several years just because that toxic individual did everything she could to try to maintain some kind of control.  It cost a lot of money too.  Money we did not have.  We sure ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and I’m not real fond of tuna salad any longer.  We prayed. We fought for custody which my attorney warned me was like throwing money down the well in Florida, but we had to do everything we could to get the girls out of that toxic environment.  We lost! We prayed.  Child support and alimony started. More tuna, more PB&Js, but with that time came more love, more understanding.  Nancy and I both grew as people, as a couple, as parents, and as people of faith.  We prayed and gave thanks.

Blue Zone: Nasty world of the big wide web:

WE MADE IT!  It has been almost ten years since Nancy and I left our toxic relationships together.  We love, we show compassion, we cried together, we pray, but through everything we survived, we thrived, and for some strange reason, I WOULD NOT CHANGE ANY ONE OF THOSE STRUGGLES!  We love life.  We made It!  We have six beautiful daughters, two absolutely gorgeous grandchildren, and a much better understanding of how to stay the Hell away from toxic assholes!  If you know somebody in a toxic relationship…HELP THEM GET OUT! RUN! Or You will have to get rid of them to avoid that toxicity!!

And to those toxic assholes…KEEP YOUR MISERABLE ASS LIFE TO YOURSELF AND AWAY FROM US!  WE GOT THIS!!!  Ciao!

 

I can train my mind just like in 2012 Navaratri time when You gave me direction. Everything got derailed the past year and I am sure You will show me the light again.:

-Dennis

Is it that time yet?

Everyone always imagines a time where they leave where they are and just disappear somewhere else. We hit the hard moments and want to start over somewhere new and experience greater things in life.

I was born in Akron, Ohio (not a very big & bumpin’ place) but it’s cute and it certainly has grown over the years as I have traveled back home. We moved right after I turned one to Ft. Eustis, Virginia, my dad was stationed there while he was in the Army. I was around the age of 6 when we left Virginia and moved to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, if you haven’t been there, do yourself a favor and go visit. It is the most beautiful place and I happened to spend every summer there with my grandparents after we moved to Florida. Right after school was out, my parents drove up to Hilton Head and dropped me off. Might sound a little odd to you but I adored my grandparents, they were like my parents and I was so attached to them and they were to me, it only made sense for me to spend my summers with them. Plus, I was always a very independent person and unlike my sisters, I didn’t get homesick while I was away going all around Hilton Head. I spent the entire summer meeting new people who were there on vacation, getting tan, going to work with my grandparents sometimes, I knew everyone at the Marriott, they knew me and they were like family. I spent all my days involved in the activities that the hotel offered, playing putt-putt, catching sand dollars and painting them, relaxing in the pool, at the beach, the list goes on. Hilton Head was my favorite place in the entire world, honestly, it still is. I can’t wait to go back. We moved from there to Kissimmee, Florida when I was 7 years old and back to Ohio when my dad was offered good money with Speedway. Then he was transferred back to Port St. Lucie, Florida (when I was around 10 years old) and back to Kissimmee from there on out. Honestly, I don’t remember Akron when I was younger, I remember bits and pieces from Virginia and Hilton Head (mainly because of all my vacations). I actually don’t remember moving from Kissimmee back to Ohio, but I do remember Port St. Lucie, how could I forget after the tornado that swept through Kissimmee and did A LOT of damage before we moved back for good.

I made it out alive and haven't been sucked back in.... but i miss it... sick and twisted :/:

6 reasons to leave your hometown

I found this link which sparked this entire thought process about moving away from your hometown. Even though I wasn’t born in Florida, 15+ years living here with this being really the only place that I know – yeah, I’d consider it my hometown in a way. My husband however, was born and raised in Florida. He’s traveled a lot, so he has definitely seen a lot more than I have but he’s always loved the colder weather. The humidity and heat are the absolute worst….All of you touristy people who are only here for the week, you don’t even understand the beginning of what it’s truly like. I LOVE the seasons. I don’t know how you couldn’t love watching the color of the leaves change, watch the trees go from full of leaves to naked and to watch all of the green grass disappear and be replaced with the whitest layer of snow.

You don’t need magic to disappear, all you need is a destination // Travel Quote Phone Cases @seattlestravels:

I’ve thought about leaving the state of Florida for years. I’ve always wanted to. Not necessarily back to Ohio.. or anywhere in particular but I wanted to get away, start fresh and be somewhere different, outside of my comfort zone, because that’s also where I excel the most. I’ve wanted to go the flight attendant route because honestly, it would be the most perfect thing. You are stationed somewhere with other flight attendants, get an apartment together or by yourself, and just t r a v e l while finishing up school. When I was applying and looking at places, one of the places I wished I would be stationed at was Chicago. I’ve visited there a total of three times and have fallen more in love with that place each time. Another place that I’ve never been is New York and that was an option too, which I was open to as well. Lastly, Seattle and Texas. Yes please. Bring it on. Becoming a flight attendant was so appealing to me because you could travel all over the world and be paid for it. The amount of freedom within that is amazing and I was completely open to becoming a flight attendant. But let me tell you – those interviews were one of a kind and SO MUCH FUN.

The thing about a comfort zone is that it sounds, well, too comfortable. I call it a COMFORT PIT because a pit is somewhere you want to get out of as fast as possible. Bear Grylls:

Back to the link I provided above. If you haven’t taken the time to click on it and read it, you should. It’s super insightful and it makes a ton of valid points, it’s something everyone should consider at least once in there lives. But then again, going out of your comfort zone isn’t for everyone. Plus – in most cases, more often than not – you go where the job is. This article talks about meeting new people, experiencing new places, leaving your comfort zone and leaving your parents – all the things that I think are so wonderful and are something that everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. I’ve left home before, went to Gainesville for school (still in FL though, not much of a drive from home) but then I moved to Kansas for school and it was one of the most thrilling experiences ever. I was with my best friend of all the time because we were cheering together but she had started a year prior to me so it’s not like we were together all the time. I made great friendships with people that I still keep in contact with today. Leaving home and going to Kansas was really great because I was able to get out of my comfort zone and fend for myself. I adored my roommate, I consider myself very lucky because I’ve heard horror stories from people with ridiculous roommates. I got a taste of my seasons once again. I traveled quite a few places with my friends & roommate. I even went home for Thanksgiving with my roommate, she lived in Texas and that was a blast. Her family was really great. All of the experiences and time that I had there, I wouldn’t take back at all. I only wish that I was able to stay longer.

“Let yourself move to the next chapter in life when the time comes. Don’t remain stuck on the same page”.

I think that’s where I am at. I’m ready to move forward into that next chapter and I’m afraid that Florida just isn’t where that can happen. It’s not that I’m unhappy here and I don’t have the means to just up and leave right now so it’ll take time unless a job comes with the move. It’s definitely good to keep your options open and explore other ideas, you never know what you are going to find. It’s never going to be easy but then again – it’s not really easy here either, so what’s the point? I’m excited for the things to come for me and my family, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure they are the happiest.

Here’s to the places we’ve never been, ideas we have yet to think of, jobs we haven’t found and adventures that haven’t begun quite yet. Cheers!

I've started, and I can't say there aren't times when I wish I hadn't, nor can I say there won't be more, but I keep putting one foot in front of the other.:

Im in love with cities Ive never been to and people Ive never met | The most beautiful parts of life are still unfolding.:

A little travel inspiration from Lonely Planet co-founder and legend, Tony Wheeler, suggested by Josh Button.:

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” — Alan Watts:

 

 

-Samantha

A Chance Meeting? I Don’t Think So!

Several years ago I was fortunate enough to become a Field Consultant for 7 Eleven which, despite the stereotypes is a phenomenal job and a great company to work for.  In the training process you basically start as a third shift cashier and work your way up to the position you were hired for.  It was a fantastic training program and I will be the first to tell you those third shifters are worth their weight in gold.  The program took nearly a year to complete, but I had several years of C-Store experience so I fast tracked a little bit.  I LOVED IT!  ALL OF IT!  At that point I was making good money and I actually got the chance to go home every night and see my girls.  Plus it allowed me a chance to be myself, and to get away from the horrible marriage I had at home.  Through this job I was able to disguise my personal life for a good 8-12 hours a day then go home to my princesses.  I truly felt blessed!

challenge accepted barney stinson:

My trainer, we will call her Natalie, had all of her Store Managers in her area come over to the store I was training in to meet me because she is just an awesome leader like that.  One by one they filed in, shook my hand, introduced themselves, offered their help with anything I needed, then they went back to their stores.  It was a really great gesture and greatly appreciated.  The very last Manager that day immediately caught my eye, and I mean WOW!  I had never laid eyes on her or spoken a word to her before but I was suddenly a 16 year old boy, nervous, dry mouthed, hands sweating, and I got butterflies in my stomach. She had a radiant smile, shining, gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes, and a rack only God Himself could have created.  I felt weak in the knees and I mumbled so badly through the intro she probably thought I was “special”!  After she left, I told Natalie she would be the next Mrs. Swain.  Natalie quickly told me I didn’t have a chance in Hell.  It was a tight group of people so my words traveled quickly to Nancy.  It didn’t take long for me to find out the woman of my dreams found me to be quite an “ASSHOLE!”  Wow right? So I thought…CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!  GAME ON!

Yes, I was still married at the time, but it was over way before then.  We had a marriage of convenience at that time, and three beautiful little girls to consider, but I was still married so I could not go all out after Nancy like I normally would have.  I had to strategize.  I could not stop thinking about her, but she seemed very happy in her life, and I may be a lot of things, but I am no home wrecker nor could I afford to be accused of flirting with a store manager I could possibly some day supervise.  It was very complicated to say the least, but I just could not shake it.  The more I had the chance to talk to her or ask her questions about how to do something, the deeper I was falling.  She knew how I felt about her from the beginning, but the whole “asshole” and being married thing deterred her from even giving me the time of day outside of work.

Love At First Sight Quotes-This is going to sound crazy, but... from the moment I first set eyes on you I haven't been able to stop thinking about you #love:

I went through almost two years of this with her.  I would call her while I was driving from one store to another to ask her questions I already knew the answer to just so I could hear her voice.  She figured that out quickly, but man I had it bad.  To make things worse, I began to find out she was just as unhappy at home as I was, she had three daughters also around the same ages as mine, and had the same birthday as my soon to be ex-wife, just one year older.  Strange coincidences like these just started happening, strange, but really great too.

Somehow, I kept getting sent to her store for projects…wink wink! If you know Nancy at all, she runs a pretty damn perfect store, so I knew I had Natalie’s blessing.  We talked a lot.  Mostly about our kids, but there was finally mutual flirtation going on.  We listened to each other, and realized how unhappy we both were.  Both of our main concerns were our kids.  We kept that focus.

One day, okay hell  with that shit, it was December 2nd, and I will never ever forget it! Nancy was sent to court to represent our company.  Once again, I was sent to her store that day to do a reset while she was gone.  When she returned she was pretty shaken up, our eyes locked, and right then I knew.  I knew the last two years of patience and doing the right thing had finally paid off.  She pulled me into the office of her store and laid the still greatest kiss of my life on me.  I melted! DONE,  Silly putty!  We agreed to go to dinner that night and talk.  I have never been so nervous in my life.  I felt 18 again.  I knew at that point God had sent me this way out of my league Puerto Rican Angel in my time of need, and I was not going to let her go.  We went out for wings and beers.  Yes beers. Double plural but remember I am a red neck! We soon lost track,of time talking about our kids, what we like to do, families, and everything else imagineable.  We knew things were going to be very complicated from this point forward, but we both wanted to see what might come out of this.  We kept it hush hush at this point since there was no need to ruffle feathers or get the kids involved if we didn’t think things would work.  Their lives were hard enough and birthdays of our oldest daughters and the holidays were quickly approaching.

inspirational divorce quote:

The next few weeks flew by.  I talked to my Grandma Hale who was my confidant.  She was dieing of cancer and dementia but was sharp as a tack that moment I talked to her.  She knew something was wrong, but told me to always follow my heart, believe in God, and LIVE every day. She passed on my oldest daughter Samantha’s 16th birthday.  We did not tell her that day of course, but it was very difficult for me to hide all the bottled up emotions I had going on.  It was tough but we couldn’t ruin Samii’s day!

I finally made the decision to move out on my own because I just couldn’t take it any longer.  That same day, Nancy asked her guy to move out also.  I swear it was not planned that way, it just happened we both thought we wanted to get through the holidays for the kids.  It was actually New Years’ Day!  How fitting huh?  I was scheduled to have a meeting the next day so I called Nancy for advice.  She let me know her situation that day as well.  We met and she secretly, for some reason, helped me find an efficient apartment which just happened to be right across the street from her store, and the courting began.

9 Poignant Divorce Quotes That Will Mend Your Broken Heart (PHOTOS):

We knew things were going to be complicated, but we had no idea the things we were about to endure.  My oldest (Samii) wanted nothing to do with me.  Nancy’s kids rebelled some too.  We had to plan little meetings around our girls, work, and divorce proceedings. It was a tough go. I still don’t know how we did it, but we did.  We prayed together a lot. Still do, and it was by the grace of God things would somehow work out each time.  We slowly introduced each other to our children.  She would come with me to football games or cheer competitions so we could at least watch Samii cheer and get a peek at Shayna and Lexi when they weren’t with us.  We blasted through each challenge that presented itself, and I still would not change a thing.

 

The one challenge I never took into consideration was the looks we would sure receive. I’m white! Very white! Redneck white! Nancy is Puerto Rican.  I guess I gave my fellow human beings more credit than they deserved, but we got over that too.  It just really became a funny shock to our kids’ friends especially Nancy’s, when they found out I was white. Quite comical even.  Even more funny was the group of friends we hung out with were all made up of mixed race couples, a male gay couple, and a female gay couple. It was an amazing bunch!

As life continued on for the Swain clan, we meshed.  We lost alot of battles, but won the wars.  Feelings got hurt, things were said, tears we shed, but I still wouldn’t trade the chance of meeting her for anything in the world.  Things worked out, our kids found out the truth, and fences were mended.  We don’t use the step word very often, we are a family accepted from both sides of our wonderful families and we are all back together and thriving!

God is so good, and so is life!!!!

Gracias mi Dios por un nuevo despertar lleno d paz d amoor y nuevos pensamientos que me llenan de alegria y se regocija mi alma de harmonia:):

 

 

-Denney

What had to be done.

Even the most picture-perfect families have unseen cracks. Get Iyanla Vanzant's thoughts on how to cope if your family is facing a breakdown.:

As a little girl you are wrapped around fairy tales, your Barbie’s and your parent’s fingers because you are their little princess. As you look back on those moments, at the age of 25, you couldn’t ever imagine your life without your family as your number one and those very people being the ones that protect you from all the evil the world has to offer. Little do you know, the one you trusted with your heart and soul will rip it into a thousand pieces, not once, not twice, but a million different times and in a million different ways. You keep giving in but there comes a time where you finally stand up to that very evil and even though it takes everything out of you, you shove it out of your life. You had to. You’ve given countless chances. Forgiven. But never forgotten. But the end result is always the same..no matter how much time has passed, no matter what the consequences. You are left in pieces, and the only choice you have is to pick yourself back up, put yourself back together and learn from your mistakes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, I was fooled more than twice. So no one can ever say that I didn’t give a damn.

“You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions”.

It is sad. But it is the truth. I’ve seen it, you have probably seen it, we have all in some way, shape or form witnessed this to be 100% true. People these days are some of the selfish that they have ever been. It’s a problem. It creates a lot of problems. It creates a huge distance between them and the ones that they love, or used to love anyway. Ultimately, this is where it all fell apart for me. Someone who was so consumed in everything just being about them, not just wanting but needing the material things, the thrill, the competition, the adventure while their children were to fend for themselves. That last part really irks me, does it do the same to you? Maybe not, but because I dealt with it first hand for years, it kills me to even think about it. Or to even allow myself to go there.

Don’t get it twisted, I have some fabulous family members and friends, some blood-related and others not even close but they might as well be. And I am truly, very blessed to have them in my life. Without them, things would be completely different and I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through. Well, I would have made it through, I consider myself a fairly strong person but with them, the pain started to slowly disappear (not completely, it still lingers from time to time), life begun to fall together into something truly beautiful and I had people that I could count on no matter what the task, obligation or obstacle that lie ahead.

Blood means you're related. It doesn't mean you're family.:

 

Selfish people tend to only be good to themselves… then are surprised when they are alone. - Steve Maraboli For more quotes and inspirations: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/selfish-people-tend-only-good-themselves-then.html?ref=ppt10: Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, because they don't.: Blog post about coping with a loved one who struggles with addiction. "My First Best Friend" talks about watching a loved one fall into addiction and finding forgiveness and the ability to love.:

There comes a point and time when you just cannot handle anymore destruction, heartbreak and suffering and you just have to let go… because if you don’t, it will be the end of you. That’s what it came down to, for me. I believe in second chances, even if you may not, I understand and I won’t judge you for it. But each and every time I allowed this person to come and wreak havoc on my life, I died a little inside. It killed me to know that this human being, this person who was supposed to love & protect me at all costs, would so gladly hurt me in ways unimaginable and wouldn’t find the need to make amends or want to for that matter. Honestly – this entire blog has been about the hurt that I’ve dealt with and what I’ve felt but what I care about most is that fact that others around me have been hurt, destroyed and confused on what they ever did to deserve such treatment.

Kind Of Dramatic But So True! 10 Taylor Swift Quotes Every Girl Understands http://www.gossipness.com/lifestyle/kind-of-dramatic-but-so-true-10-taylor-swift-quotes-every-girl-understands-677.html:

What I care about is that even on their worst day, they would still give you the world but it’s never good enough. You always want, want, want. You pry on their weaknesses and when they are most vulnerable. You humiliate everyone by the name you’ve given yourself and we have to live with it too. You’ve been given countless chances and opportunities but have chosen yourself every time. Somehow, some way you have manipulated people to continue to be around you, but sadly, your time with them is limited. It’s only a matter of time before your true self has been revealed and you have yourself to blame. You’ve destroyed any hope of having a family that we’ve once dreamt of. What I will say though, thank you for giving me a wonderful sibling, without her I would go insane. Thank you for three sets of the best grandparents I could’ve ever imagined. Thank you for an amazing father, a wonderful step-mommy dearest and siblings that if it weren’t for you, they would’ve never been apart of my life. And thank you for documenting our lives in pictures and photo albums because at least there, I am able to reminisce on the happy memories when we were once given a shit about by you. So thank you.

And to you: Stop pointing fingers at others when you are the one at fault, you only make yourself look more pathetic than you already are. Please do not act like I am the cold-hearted one that never wanted you apart of my life and that I only pushed you away when you kept “trying”. Your version of “trying” ended the same way every time, it never changed. The only consistent was the amount of pain and tears you caused each and every one of us, that was enough for a lifetime two times over. Don’t say I never forgave you, I forgave you more than you ever deserved. More than I should have. Oh well, maybe you could say that I had hope for you? Or that I wanted you apart of my life and I thought that maybe, just maybe, you would change for your kids? But we were all wrong, jokes on us. It’s bad enough that my kids (when I have them, not pregnant) will have to grow up without their great-grandmother — who would’ve been the light in their lives just like she was in mine. But don’t worry – they will grow up with multiple grandmothers who I don’t have to worry about leaving them with; in fear that something awful will happen because you cannot get your act together. Among all the awful things you’ve said to me over the years, you hit home when you brought Mel (my biological father) into this screwed-up mess. Don’t you dare think that he doesn’t see the person I’ve become, the complete opposite of what you describe me as, because he watches over me every day. Lastly, I’ve let go.. for good.  I will not allow anyone else to be hurt by you, as long as I live. I hope that you find happiness, peace and the life you so desperately long for.. even though that’s certainly more than you even deserve. Ciao.

 

-Samantha

Race Didn’t Matter! We Were All Green!

For most – race, creed, color, origin, age, and sexual orientation are taboo.  I want to throw out my opinion on the race phenomenon we are witnessing in this day and age, and compare and/or contrast to a time in my life where it just did not seem to matter.

Racial Equality:

I was in the Army for almost five years stationed for the most part at Ft Eustis, Va.  As you can imagine you meet many different types of people with such diverse backgrounds and it is amazing the cohesiveness you can feel with any one soldier.  All races, genders, ages, origins, and several different religious preferences didn’t seem to matter.  We all had each other’s backs and did what we could to help one another.  Don’t get me wrong there wasn’t always peace and harmony amongst our ranks but for the most part race rarely entered into the equation.  If you were smart, you tried your best to learn about as many different cultures as were represented and respected each and every one. The food alone was worth it in my book!

USMC || Boot Camp | "There is no racial bigotry here. Here, you are all equally worthless." ~ Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:

I met some of the best individuals while I was enlisted.  Two of my mentors were black, three or four were Puerto Rican and a couple were white rednecks like me.  These men were the best and they cared about you and your families.  I had two daughters only at this time and both Samantha and Shayna loved all of them to death and they all loved my girls. Samii was old enough to be the little princess in their eyes and started preschool with some of their children.  She was always talking about Sarvant (she couldn’t say Sergeant properly yet) Davis and Sarvant Powell.  She would run and jump into their arms whenever they came over and hug them like she was theirs.  Great men! Black! Who gives a damn!

Every race has their assholes for sure, but every race also has their good people too.  My experience crossed many lines with these men and women and we lived together in not so fun places, we spent a lot of time together, had families involved, and learned from one another, but we were all Green! Nobody was better than anybody else.  We all crawled thru the sand, burnt shit from cut out latrines, and way too often bled red!

BUT WE WERE ALL GREEN!

We need to stop this ignorance of racial bullshit and realize we are all Americans and most importantly realize WE ARE ALL GREEN!

ALL LIVES MATTER!

 

-Denney

What Does It Mean, To Sacrifice Something?

Do you know what “sacrifice” and “the best” have in common? They’re both wildly overused and abused words that are used to describe something or someone. “The best burger ever!” Really? You’ve had every type of burger in the world and known to man? Recently, if you watched the Super Bowl, you heard about Cam Newton not “sacrificing his body” on a fumble that he had a chance to recover, but is sacrifice the right word to describe his inaction, when going for his own fumble isn’t technically something that’s out of the norm for his very profession and, more specifically, that specific scenario on the biggest of all sports stages?

In Life and Love:

The very word, sacrifice, became a surprisingly simplistic, mundane internal argument I’ve been having with myself since my wife, one of the two regulars on this blog, wrote “…thank you for all that you sacrifice” in a very moving and appreciative Valentine’s Day card last month. When I read it and asked her what it was she thought I was sacrificing, she said it was because of my current job giving me tennis elbow in both arms, causing a great deal of discomfort and, sometimes, a searing, stabbing pain in both forearm areas at any given time, even on the weekends when I’m supposed to be recovering.

As if on cue, my mind, ever the hyper-analytical and argumentative one, was flooded with various different arguments that I had neither the right person nor the time to vent or argue with about how people, with seemingly blatant ignorance and disregard, throw out a word like sacrifice. Cam Newton is supposed to dive for his own fumble, especially if it’s in the Super Bowl. An outfielder is supposed to dive full-speed for a blooper/pop up, whether it’s the first out of the inning or the final out in Game 7 of the World Series. A Secret Service agent is supposed to take a bullet for whomever he or she has been charged with protecting…but am I supposed to have pain in both of my arms when my job is to edit highly sensitive reports?

The answer is a very resounding NO.

My wife and I met while we both worked at dead-end carnie jobs at Universal Studios; I was working part-time to simply put gas in my car driving to and from UCF to finish my Bachelor’s, and she was being given lip service about how they were going to fast track her to a supervisor position. The ride I worked at, as a menial pawn a.k.a. attractions attendant, had very stiff and unserviced harnesses. After one year of working there, an elbow injury from years of abuse from sports began to flare up, and it got to the point where my doctor thought Tommy John surgery was a viable way to rectify the issue. My wife, on the other hand, hand to sacrifice her overall sanity while she was in charge of people who, quite frankly, were either below or slightly above Forrest Gump-level intellect. Nowhere in that job description did either of us see “risk your future health and mental well-being” in the “primary responsibilities” role.

And now we reach the crux of the issue: when someone legitimately sacrifices something or themselves, not the Cam Newton-lack-thereof version, should that sacrifice go unnoticed? Should someone throwing away their dignity to brown nose and get a promotion and someone risking potential surgery on both arms be constituted as the same type of sacrifice?

et bah y'en intérêt parce que là, j'ai ma dose de chaos!:

 

This is a tough question for many of you, I’m sure, especially when I ask that you leave politics out of it. You responses are appreciated, but not necessary; I’m simply trying to bring to light an issue that seems to have been forgotten in this chaotic world we live in today.

 

 

-Case

Yes, I am That Guy

Good Morning Everybody!  Yes, I am THAT GUY!  Deal with it!

Happy Good Morning Quotes Funny:

I cannot remember a time when I was not a morning person.  Blame my parents if you need to point a finger.  My mom and dad are both morning people.  My mom used to wake us for school every morning singing our names and telling us the sun was shining and the birds were singing just for us.  She would then make us breakfast while keeping the mood high.  My dad worked his ass off in the shittiest of factories every single day, but still got up in a good mood to keep food on our table.  We were dirt poor growing up, but we didn’t know it because of the upbeat mood and happiness they maintained in our home.  Couple that with the blessings from God we were thankful for and it was just a way of life that seemed very normal for us.

This morning, with her, having coffee:

 

To this day, I get laughed at, ridiculed, cursed out, and talked about daily just because I am a happy-go-lucky morning person, but I honestly do not understand how somebody could not be a morning person.  Oh, and by the way, as an extreme morning person, I love to use it just to piss off those of you who are not!  Woohoo!  Right at this moment it is 7am Eastern, and I am pecking away on my laptop, drinking a great cup of Cafe Bustelo listening to Sports Center with a smile on my face and love in my heart.  I do thrive on the fact most people can be such miserable bastards in the morning, and better yet knowing my great mood irritates them more than nails on a chalk board.  My only hope is that my attitude can wear off even just a little on them to bring a smile to their face to make their day a little bit better.

Wish i was a morning person! Lol:

 

I asked this before in this blog, but How can people not be a morning person?  Each day is a great day graced by God.  Every single day, anything is possible.  What happened yesterday is in the past, and we are given the opportunity of a fresh start with those same endless possibilities.  Even in the month of February in North Eastern Ohio, I can jump right out of bed, turn on some Pitbull and start the coffee perking.  It is easy.  I love God.  I love my wife, my daughters, my grandchildren, and yes, I love my job!  I am not rich, just barely middle class, and Nancy and I work our asses daily, but we appreciate the little things God has blessed us with, and we do our best to make the most of them.

Sometimes difficult...but this is another great lesson taught by the kindest person I know...my mother:

I mentioned in prior blogs about being a veteran of the Army.  Even when we were in basic training, third world, arm pit countries and those boring as hell leadership development classes, I did my best to greet every single fellow soldier with a Good Morning and a smile.  It was a lot easier in the military because my fellow soldiers had to be where I was so they could not avoid me, but that is where I met the most morning people.  It always amazed me how a group of know nothing privates half away around the world from home could stay upbeat and positive when the last step we took could have been our last, but a person coming into a convenient store at 9am could be such a grumpy asshole to a minimum wage cashier for no reason at all.  I was a district manager in the convenience store industry for many years and actually over heard a customer asking a cashier to tell me not to call him “Friend” when I said “Good Morning Friend, how are you?”  He said I didn’t know him well enough to call him “Friend!”  In my mind that is the definition of an asshole!  I made certain I visited that store every morning for the next two weeks just so I could run into that person and wish him the best of mornings and call him “Sir,” as loudly and condenscending as I possibly could.  There is just no need for that.  He isn’t any better than anybody else, and I wanted to make damn sure he knew it.

The most fun was waking up the girls in the morning.  They all have their good mornings, but for the most part all 6 of them were pretty irritable bitches in the morning.  I always tried to make them morning people also, but those apples fell way far away from the tree. On the weekends or while we are on vacation, Nancy and I might like to start our morning coffee with just a touch of Baileys or follow up my first cup with a Bloody Mary.  This always put us in an even better mood and allowed us to irritate the girls even more.  It was a blast.  Blaring some Aventura or Wisin y Yandel at 8am, really gets the blood pumping, and that is exactly what we liked to do.

In closing, I have to once again ask, “How can you not be a morning person?”  And just a fair warning…if you see me whistling a song coming in the opposite direction, run the other way because I will hunt you down like the Debbie Downer you are, and do everything possible to get on your last nerve!  Or you could just join the club and become a morning person with me! Up to you!

Ciao!

-Denney

 

—- Addition by Samantha —-

This is for all those morning people out there...not so much. ; -):

Trust him when he tells you to run the other way if you are not a morning person! Take it from the girl who went to middle school/high school out of zone therefore, he had to drive me to school every morning. Now let me tell you, I was already up an hour or so getting ready but I was NOT awake. I am most definitely not a morning person and then again, I’m not really a night person either. But in the mornings, just let me wake up in peace, let me get ready at my speed and let me get some coffee and just settle in. Don’t jump down my throat, ask me to do a bunch of useless shit, or start singing to me. I just want to have some peace! But feel free to make me a nice pot of coffee & some breakfast in bed, I can be down for that! Every morning while driving to school, we fought with the radio every morning, it never failed. I simply wanted to listen to music and he wanted to listen to his raunchy 104.1 shenanigans and I just wasn’t having it! He simply just wanted to have important life conversations that early and I just couldn’t do it!Every morning was an eventful one with this guy. If you were driving past us, you would probably have laughed hysterically because he was probably making a fool out of himself and trying to embarrass the crap out of me constantly. This also continued as he dropped me off and I got out of the car and tried to run AS FAST AS POSSIBLE… as he screamed my name and was a gigantic dork all the way. Now looking back, I laugh because it was hilarious and probably extremely comical to everyone around us however, it wasn’t funny to me at the time. The one good thing about being with this guy in the mornings is that there is always coffee on, so I’ll stick with him 🙂

 

 

Should I know what I want to do with my life?

I mean.. I’m 25 and even though every birthday we say ‘oh my god, I am getting so old’, while that is extremely accurate, I am still young and have plenty of time to figure life out. But do I really though…?

My college career has been quite rough and VERY MUCH all over the place. However, I am finally on solid ground and working on completing my Bachelor’s then I’ll worry about my Master’s. Now in all the time I’ve had between high school, moving around and now settled in.. you would think that I would have narrowed down what in the world I want to do with the rest of my life. But NO… I am not any closer to figuring it out than I was when I graduated high school. There’s something wrong with me, right? Because that would explain a lot.. Anyone have answers, anyone?

On fielding THOSE questions:

There are so many things that I want to do. So many things that I want to be apart of. So many things that I want to accomplish and lives that I want to affect in the most influential way. I want to make a difference but then again, everyone says that.. So what the hell. Why is this so hard for me to figure out?

While I am *beyond* obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy – I cannot handle the blood, shit and piss. (You can picture it now, can’t you? Yuck.) So becoming an amazing surgeon like Meredith Grey is out of the question…

“I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection.”  -Meredith Grey:

Then there’s law – everyone says they want to be in the law but recently I read a blog post from Tucker Max (if you haven’t heard of him, do yourself a favor and look him up. He is HILARIOUS. Not for the faint-hearted either, he’s very blunt.) and he wrote about all the reasons NOT to go to law school. Mind you, he also ATTENDED law school. Check it out: Why you should NOT go to law school   Anyway, it was a very interesting read and honestly, he is extremely right. Many people think that being a lawyer is EXACTLY like what you see on Law & Order.. well, it’s not. Sorry to break your heart. While I am currently working in law firm (not as a lawyer, OBVIOUSLY) but I can already tell you – I want NO PART of this life. Nope. No thank you. No siree. Bye. See you later.

difficult planning:

My major is Business Management so it’s a pretty big area that you can do just about anything with. So there’s event planning, I love weddings, events, parties, and I like having complete control over planning things and things going the way that I want them to go. But I’m not a complete control freak although my husband would definitely disagree with you because he has seen it firsthand. It definitely depends on the situation and when something gets messed with after I’ve taken care of it, I am certainly NOT okay with it. But with event planning, you get the weekend hours, late night hours, etc. And at the moment, I’m pretty into having a 9-5 job and weekends off. So there’s that.

 

Now if you’ve read my post titled ‘Live. Laugh. Love. READ.’ you’ll know that I love reading and have ever since I could remember. So maybe publishing?  But as far as editing goes, I’ll need to work on that because that’s DEFINITELY my husband’s expertise hands down. But to think of meeting writers and planning their events, taking care of marketing their own books, reading all the manuscripts, the list goes on.. It can be a pretty difficult field to get into – I’ve done some research.

universityandme: “the lighting was so nice i couldn’t not take a picture…i’m just journaling and starting “to the lighthouse” today for my next essay. ”:

So you see my dilemma? It’s pretty ridiculous.

30 Real Estate Memes Every Agent Needs on Hand.  #realestatememes #realestatepromotion.   For real estate marketing and advertising visit http://inboundrem.com:

Or at least I think I’m handling it? Anyone out there having similar issues? Any advice? Any pointers? ANYTHING!?

 

-Samantha

Against All Odds

Being a parent is a wonderful experience.  Being a parent of six girls however rewarding, can and will create exciting challenges every minute of every day.  The main hope and wish I had as a father was for our daughters to grow up to be at least decent human beings. Their successes, although hopeful, we’re not as much a factor to me as their happiness in this world and being very good, respectful human beings.  I wanted them to honor all that treat others as you would want to be treated stuff, but even better than I was forced to act as a child.  That is very difficult to see this day and age, and seems pretty rare.

I get tired of hearing this generation is this or this generation is that, and kids today have changed so much.  It is such a bad argument in my opinion.  Kids had to change.  Times have changed so they had to adapt to those changing times to survive.  For every kid someone calls lazy or disrespectful, I can find one who works two jobs and goes to school full time.  They are out there but most people are too quick to put a label on a generation for a lot of things we failed to teach them.  There are bad apples in every era, so let’s not label a generation for those few but for those that adapted and pushed forward to do good.

My daughters had every excuse under the sun to turn out bad.  As parents, we put them against ridiculous odds and set them up for failure.  I am not proud to say that, but these six chicas really succeeded against all odds and I could not be more proud.

How to Have a Mindful Divorce, The Love Whisperer,loa relationship coach, http://www.lisamhayes.com/how-to-have-a-mindful-divorce.php:

Let me explain what I mean by that last comment.  All six of our girls are the product of broken homes.  Nancy and I divorced our exes to be together.  We did this while four of our six were teenagers and already thought the world and Mother Nature were against them because of the emotional and biological changes going on with their minds and bodies. Needless to say these were very delicate times and issues were not always handled properly.  Feelings were hurt, things were said and done, and some of them thought we had betrayed them, so basically lives were shattered for a moment in time.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, throw in the fact that we didn’t always act like adults with our exes, didn’t take the girls feelings into account as much as we should have, and then topped it off with mixing two cultures together, and we had the recipe for certain disaster.

9 Poignant Divorce Quotes That Will Mend Your Broken Heart (PHOTOS):

In the beginning things didn’t go well!  That is an extreme understatement.  The shit hit the fan big time.  Our oldest graduated from high school and moved out as quickly as she could, the second oldest didn’t talk to us for almost two years, and number three proceeded to get pregnant!  What a welcome to family life at the new Casa de Swain.  Our younger three seemed to be doing pretty well and we did our best to keep them with us as much as we could and show them love from both of us.

Photo 11 of 64: Shades of Pink & Gray / Baby Shower/Sip & See "Danetta's Baby Shower" | Catch My Party:

These were very difficult times and we all could have called it quits and given up, but we couldn’t give up just yet.  Love and caring paired with great answered prayers from God above, and little things started to fall in place to bring us all back together stronger than we could have ever been.  We wanted the girls to know we have unconditional love for them no matter the circumstances, that we wanted and needed them, and wanted them to be with us.  Nancy and I immediately stopped talking about the exes in front of the girls so they could form their own opinions of why changes were and needed to be made.  Those things just seemed to work themselves out.  Couple that with spending time together and getting to know each other to realize we are all pretty wonderful.

Now we still had to deal with a teenage pregnancy, and it sure isn’t like any of those lifetime miracle network shows.  Things quickly and heatedly blew out of control.  Once again many prayers, tears, sleepless nights, and tongue biting was involved.  Eventually love and caring will always win out.  We never gave up, we prayed, we prayed, we prayed, and we prayed, and we showed love and genuine concern wherever we could.

I am very happy to say our girls are not a burden on society, and are all pretty decent human beings as of this moment despite all the adults in their lives who tried to do to our best to mess it up.

Our oldest runs financial institutions in Orlando, Fl.  Number two (that sounds funny) got married to a guy I approve of (kind of), is going to college and works full time for a group of attorneys.  The third in line gave us a beautiful grandson, graduated college, and continues to go to school working toward another degree while working full time as a nurse for a private practice.  Lucky number four works at a sandwich shop and goes to college while she takes care of her grandfather.  Number five recently got married, and gave birth to our second gorgeous grand child and is beginning to go back to school while looking for employment.  The baby of the group graduated high school last year and moved in with one of her sisters to help take care of the house and the baby while she is at school and work.

So, as a parent, I can joyfully say I am very proud of my girls, and the fact they never used excuses to not succeed and continue to be decent human beings!

And they did it AGAINST ALL ODDS!

1. Every time a women sits down to write, she will come across an obstacle. She will encounter that ghost that will try to stop her from writing the truth. The ghost will remind her that men don't like when women speak the truth about her passions.:

 

-Denney